Name:Jason Country:United States State:California Birthday:12/27/1980 Gender:Male
Interests:sleeping, eating, serving God through church activities, going to Thailand for short-term or mid-term missions Expertise:math (haha...yeah, right...) Occupation:R&D for Kumon Industry:Education/Research
So, here I am, about 1 1/2 months being unemployed.
I've been doing pretty well, actually. I've been studying for my actuary exam. There's a series of 4 levels to the actuary exam. And then if you get an actuary career, there's about a bajillion more, depending on the specialization/industry of the actuary job that you're looking into. But usually companies start looking at your resumé once you've passed 1 - 2 tests. So I'm cramming for the January test.
I gotta say, statistics is absolute craziness. There are binomial distributions, Poisson distributions, negative binomial distributions, geometric distributions, hypergeometric distributions, blahblahblah...
It's enough to drive a math major like me crazy! And I'm only around 55% done with the study material. heh.
I dunno, though. I've never been the type that's easily ruffled by things. If you know me, you'll know that I'm pretty laid-back to the point where it even looks like I don't care sometimes. heh. Okay, sure...I'll get all excited and hyper about things, but things don't really shake me to the core. But with studying and the job hunt, I've had a few times where my heart will start pounding and I'll start worrying about if I can support myself or things like that. I'll start worrying that I won't be able to memorize or comprehend all of these statistics concepts (now I totally feel that stats and math are two completely different things!!), or that I won't be able to find a decent job where I can support myself or things like that.
But it's interesting. Usually if I stop worrying about that and just look back on the past and remind myself on how God's brought me through things, I'm usually able to calm down within a few moments.
It's definitely been a humbling few weeks, though.
On the job side, I told myself that Sylvan or Mathnasium would jump at the chance to hire me, since I worked for Kumon's curriculum development department. But interestingly, neither of them have. Mathnasium never had any job postings, so it was understandable. But apparently Sylvan had TEN openings for curriculum developers, and I didn't qualify!! I mean, come on...TEN!!! And I didn't even get a call!!!!!
Of course, it was sorta weird, too. Instead of looking at your resumé and them calling you for an interview, Sylvan has you actually complete a sample curriculum problem and submit it. Which makes me wonder if they just do that and then they get sample problems from allllllll the applicants. I mean, then you wouldn't need to do any curriculum development, you know?
But it was definitely very humbling. I thought to myself that surely I would be a shoo-in for the position...but I guess not. So it's been very humbling.
But on the other hand, being humbled isn't a bad thing at all. I'm learning to depend on God and not my own abilities. I'm realizing that I'm not extremely highly demanded in my field of expertise (curriculum developer), and my knowledge of subjects isn't the best (math vs. stats), and that I really don't have as much control over my life as I have always simply assumed I have. It's been humbling, but it's been good.
On the bright side: I've had a LOT of time to read my Bible and pray each day. Those have been really enjoyable. And since I don't go out to eat lunch with coworkers anymore, not only has my budget suddenly drastically dropped, but I think I've lost 10 - 15 pounds within the last 4 weeks, simply by watching what I eat!
(Of course, the negative side to that is: Previously, no matter if it was freezing or raining, I was never cold. I could wear shorts and a T-shirt. Now I'm shivering my butt off in this 48F/9C temperature in LA. Seriously, I'm actually SHIVERING in my apartment. =P Of course, it doesn't help that my apartment doesn't have heat or A/C, but who would think you would need heat in LA?!?! hehe...
So, it's been an interesting month. Not always fun, but it's been always good for me.
And to close it all, here's "Be My 1004". It's about a year old, but it's still pretty darn catchy.
Oh, and yeah, in Korean, the word "angel" is pronounced "chunsah". Which is the same way that you would pronounce the number "1004". For us Chinese people, it's understandable because angel is: 天使 (tiānshǐ / tin1 si3) and 1004 would be read as: 千四 (qiānsì / cin1 sei3), which is pretty close.
The music video makes absolutely no sense at all, and I can totally see why the group must not have done well, to the point that they had to change their name. But it's still a pretty catchy tune if you closed your eyes and just listened to it. hehehe...
iM (renamed as "Happyface"해피페이스) ft. Narcia - Be My 1004
Yeah, I know...I'm sorry. I haven't really made it all that public yet that I'm now unemployed. So for most people, it'll come as a bombshell. Yes, Kumon had a round of layoffs 2 weeks yesterday, and my department got hit pretty bad, and I was one of them. I didn't really tell a lot of people. Within the first 2 days, I only told 3 people from church, as well as my family. And I didn't tell other people at church or even my youth group until a few days ago.
A lot of people have been asking how I've been doing. And honestly, I'm doing really quite well. Almost happiness-like. And here's the reason: I simply have way too many good memories and responses to over-ride that 1 bad memory (getting laid off).
I've had different staff people send really nice and touching e-mails to me, expressing how much they miss me. I even had one staff person end up crying to me because I was going. I've had different staff people and Kumon teachers contact me and curse like crazy over the phone over the fact that I had been laid off.
Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to be vengeful in the above statements or anything like that.
It's simply just touching to have people respond that way. I never would have thought that I would end up having staff people crying over the fact that I was leaving the company.
And that's what has really left me speechless as well as totally touched and moved. And I can't help but to feel grateful to the Company for all the joys that it's given me throughout the years. I've made so many friends with different staff and Instructors all over the US & Canada. Multiple Instructors have even asked me to consider moving from LA and working at their centers! hehe...
So, it's been a blessing in disguise. I've had a lot of joy these past 2 weeks. Yes, I'm bummed that I get to no longer work for Kumon. Yes, it was a dream that I would always be at Kumon. (And trust me...I stayed at Kumon because of my love for Kumon...not because of my salary of $46,500. [yippee...I can finally declare it, after all of these years! hehehehe...] ). I still really love Kumon. When I get married and have kids, they'll still be forced to go to Kumon. And be program completers. Because they'll do the problems that I wrote. hahahahahaah. Assuming that they're still there, 20 years from now...LOL
I think that my response to my being laid off has been an interesting one. And I think it's because I always had the feeling that me getting hired at Kumon wasn't because of anything special that I did. Honestly, I'm not that amazing nor talented. I'm a little slow at things, I'm stubborn, I'm a little goofy and smile and laugh all the time. I'm not that special. Ever since the first day that I was hired 6 years ago, my time at Kumon was always on "borrowed time."
You see, I knew from Day 1 that God gave me my job at Kumon. I didn't do anything to deserve it. And yes, yes...it's something that I'm supposed to say as a youth leader, right? But honestly...it is. You just don't know what happened during my UCLA years. heh. Actually, probably only a handful of people know about this.
In 1998, I moved to LA because UCLA took me. By then, I was a full-blown snotty teenager in complete teenage rebellion to my parents, always arguing with them and being a crappy son. And I hated my major, too. I could do the engineering classes, but I had no interest in doing engineering. I just applied for it, because I (stupidly) thought that all Asians should do engineering if they're not sure.
So by the middle of my freshman year, I got put on Academic Probation. And then my spring quarter, I pulled 2 D's and 1 F. And so, I was kicked out of UCLA.
So I moved back to San Jose. But needless to say, being a snotty teenager, I fought with my dad, and he kicked me out of the house.
And so, I went to community college for that one year. Ended up renting a room from this old Chinese lady. Worked as a dishwasher in a Korean sushi restaurant to support myself. Hated that job because I was the only non-Korean person in that restaurant, so I got treated differently.
Soon after, one of our family friends said, "Hey, there's a Kumon around the corner. Why don't you go apply to work there?" And there...I met Mrs. Itoh. Cranky Kumon Instructor on the outside; heart of gold on the inside. She wasn't always the most sweet and kind person to deal with, but she had really great intent and love for her students. And quickly, I became her head assistant. And soon after that, she said, "Since you stopped Kumon in high school, why don't you continue to do Kumon? I'll ask the Company to give you a partial tuition, since you're a low income person," and she did. Under her guidance, I finished all the Kumon math worksheets. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, I think I was her first program completer (I could be wrong about that, though).
Fast-forward 4 years: (Yes, I got back into UCLA 9 months later. heh.) When I applied for a job at Kumon, I think that these two things helped me. I mean, sure...there are tens of thousands of people who did Kumon at a time in their life. But it suddenly drops to a low percentage when you try to find out how many people ended up being Head Assistants at a center. And then it suddenly drops to an infinitely small number of people when you tack on the fact that they finished the Kumon program.
Who would have thought that in the middle of the chaos of being kicked out of UCLA, and then being kicked out of my home, and needing to support myself...that it all would have built up to be reasons why I was later hired at Kumon to work for the Company, developing the math problems?
And now...you know why I was always grateful to Kumon and why I loved my job there. And even though I no longer work there, I'm not upset or angry about it at all. Six years is a long time for a blessing. God blessed me with finding a job that I loved to do and blessed me with awesome coworkers. He placed me in a team that I loved every day to be a part of, and he gave me a manager that was the best I could ever wish for (how she managed to not want to kill me is just a testament to her awesome patience... )
10 days into Unemployement. 10 days of Happiness and Joy. 10 days of seeing the next step that God's preparing me for.
One of our company VP's cornered me and dragged me (seriously...he took me by the hand and pulled me into a corner) and brought me to where my former boss and her boss were sitting. He sits me down and was like, "We REALLY want you to move here to the headquarters."
<sigh> I learned a long time ago to never say an outright No to anything, because who knows what will open up.
At the same time, the manager of our SF office has been asking me to move to their office and join their team and change roles, so that I'm overseeing about 15 - 20 Kumon centers in the San Jose/Milpitas/Cupertino/South Bay area.
I dunno. If my parents weren't in Cali, I wouldn't mind relocating here to New Jersey. Or if I wasn't serving at GAP at church, I wouldn't mind moving back to the Bay Area.
But they are. And I am. And I like it.
But how many other times like this will there be, career-wise? And would I be a fool for passing up an opportunity like this?
hehehe...haven't touched xanga for 3 months. Sorry about that y'all.
I just haven't blogged a lot recently. Not that there's nothing on my mind. It's more like there's SOOOO much on my mind that I don't even know where to start. Job-wise, the SF office is pleading for me to move there, as well as my old boss who relocated to our headquarters in New Jersey. Church-wise, there's so many changes going on in our church that I don't even know where to start. Ministry-wise, I'm losing a really dear fellows ministry leader, since he'll be moving out of town because of his job.
On the up-side, I'm traveling a lot recently. Went to Chicago last week.
And I touched down in New Jersey about 6 hours ago! Hm, maybe I should go into the city tomorrow night. I've never actually gone into NYC before...
Going back home to SJ for a business trip next week.
Flying back and then flying up to SF the week after.
Okay, it's about 12:30AM right now. I should go to sleep so that I can wake up and still do my devotions and get up in time for work tomorrow at 8:30AM...which is 5:30AM Cali time...
I have a 7AM flight tomorrow. I should be asleep. But it's 10:30PM, a little under 3 hours earlier than my normal sleeping time. Bah. I can't sleep.
So, I shall blog. hehehe...
Around 2 years ago, God called Pastor Jeff to leave Chinese Bible Church move to Atlanta. Around 1 year ago, our landlords changed our service time to 1:30PM In the past few days, our church has crossed the $1 Million mark and will proceed to buy our new property. In about 2 weeks, another significant church-related announcement will come out. (Nothing about me!)
I also know that: Chinese Baptist Church is in the middle of raising money and filing permits to do a massive church reconstruction. And in about 6 months, Pastor Terrence will be stepping down
15 years ago, when I was 14 years old: The English pastor from my home church stepped down. To be fair, it's much better than CBibleC or CBaptistC's situation. The English pastor and our Church Board had sooo many problems.
He resigned after a meeting of the church leadership members were called. I remember that it was in the middle of the week. Once word started spreading from phone to phone, it was like a tiny tsunami wave. Unfortunately, a significant amount of people in the English congregation had already been agreeing with the English pastor, so they left, also. Some went with him; others couldn't stand the church politics and went to other churches.
Within the next few months, most of our youth group leaders left, as well.
And there was me and my class. We had just joined CIA only about 1 - 2 years earlier. And this bombshell hit.
So the church board scrambled. They hired a new pastor extremely fast. And (unfairly to him, in my opinion), they also told him that he had to lead the youth group until a new director of youth ministries could be found.
Within the period of the next 2 to 3 years, my class shrunk from around 10, to around 2 - 3. I don't think that it was because of who the new pastor was. I think it was because most of my classmates felt abandoned by the leaders. To be fair, I don't fault anybody for it; I think that it's a completely valid reason to change churches, if you feel like you're not spiritually growing. But the people in my class still felt abandoned.
Around 8 years ago, when I was around 20 years old:
Yup, you got it:
Same cycle happened.
Over time, there had been conflict building up between the (new) English pastor and the Board. And they went their separate ways. Fortunately, a youth minister had already been hired in the English side, so the current youth at that time had someone to watch over them, and they didn't have to go through what I went through.
What makes CBibleC's and CBaptistC's situations different from my home church is that unlike my home church, I don't think there's any malicious intent or any disagreements or any arguments. For both CBC's, it's like God is calling people to do different things, and there is general consensus and agreement.
That's an awesome blessing.
But that doesn't mean that it's easy to go through. It wasn't easy when Pastor Jeff left. It won't be easy when Pastor leaves.
This past Sunday after church, I hung out with a brother from church. We talked from around 3:30PM all the way until the sun started going down, almost 4 hours in total. We talked about the church's past, the church's present, and the church's future. We talked about specific people and named names and talked about their spiritual walks.
And then we started talking about how we could encourage the ones who were getting disappointed. We started talking about hanging out with the new ones who had recently started coming. We started talking about praying for those who we could see God beginning to raise them up as leaders. We started talking about being an influence for those who we knew could only stay here for a few months.
And we couldn't stop talking. We started seeing how God was moving in each one of their lives. We laughed and remembered how they used to be, and we marveled and proudly smiled at where they are now. We laughed and remembered how we used to be! We talked about those with whom we may have a different opinion with, but we smiled and knew that in the end, we're still the same family.
I went home that night with a smile. A really big one. One that I haven't felt for a very long time.
See, it doesn't matter who comes and who goes.
It only matters if we've reached out to them and they know that we care. Even if they're here only for the summer or only for a year.
Because, unlike the situations in my home church, I've known for a long time that God's behind all these changes happening at the CBC's. I may disagree with some of the day-to-day decisions made at both churches, but I know that God is behind all of this. And even with very strong and passionate disagreements, I know that the unity is still being maintained within both churches. .
True
So it's been very humbling.
Not always fun, but it's been always good for me.
